


Aster's Adventures in Social Interactions.

by ShatteredAngel



Series: Aster(ology) [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Brain Damage, Childlike character, Comedy, Dave flips all of his shit, Family, Gen, I just meant he is naive and inocent, I need help with that., Mentions of Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pesterlog, Protective Dave is Best Dave, Well - Freeform, he is a child., mute character, non color coded logs for now.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9331745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShatteredAngel/pseuds/ShatteredAngel
Summary: A collab collection of Pesterlogs Aster initiates with Dave's friends and Dave himself! Set within interconnected chapters leading up to SBURB.





	1. Aster to Dave 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is now a thing!
> 
> I do not own Homestuck or it's Characters.

Aster was at his friend Iracara 'Cara' Lewis' house. It was an old building and made loud noises at night. It made it hard for the 12 year old to sleep. it had been like that ever since Kevin, his school bully pushed him down the stairs two years ago. He missed his brother.

'He won't mind if I Pester him. Dave said I could whenever I want to when I'm not home!'

　

\-- cyberKnight [CK] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 00:55 --

[12:55] CK: hey Dave.

[12:55] TG: sup

[12:56] CK: not much. can't sleep.

[12:57] TG: shit lil man why not

[12:58] CK: Dave. Cara's house is old and creepy.

[12:58] TG: well sos bro but you snooze here dont you

[12:59] CK: I'm over At her house tonight, remember? or did you forget?

[01:00] TG: what me

[01:00] TG: forget

[01:00] TG: of course not

[01:02] CK: yeah... i believe you, bro.

[01:03] TG: alright so maybe your bro is doing so many cool things the tiny detail of you bein at caras slipped his mind

[01:03] TG: you can try to sue him but his lawyers have been on the case since this time yesterday

[01:03] TG: the alibis been set

[01:03] TG: ive already won the case

[01:03] TG: the judge and i are getting brunch tomorrow

[01:04] CK: right...

[01:05] CK: anyway, is Lil' Cal home? what can i expect from bro when i return home?

[01:06] TG: havent seen the c man around, actually

[01:06] TG: bros holed up in the crawlspace makin a racket

[01:06] TG: i think hes doing some sort of puppet related stunts up there but theres no way in hell im goigng up to check

[01:07] CK: so, bro is nice bro right now? or not? I hate that puppet.

[01:08] TG: seems like nice bro to me. actualy handed me some aj and i swear i saw a slight smile. it was like seeing a unicorn

[01:08] TG: lil cal aint that bad bro

[01:08] CK: oh, crap forget i said that.

[01:08] CK: i know. his nice times have been rare lately.

[01:09] TG: hes probably just havin a hell of a time jugglin all the cool shit he does on the daily

[01:09] CK: .... probably.

[01:10] TG: youre readin into it too much.

[01:10] TG: hows cara doin

[01:12] CK: She's doing ok. she and adam broke up again.

[01:12] TG: man again??? whats with those two

[01:12] TG: they take that on again off again trope way too seriously

[01:12] TG: like you look up the on/off couple on any search engine and thats what youd get

[01:13] CK: i know, right!

[01:13] TG: click the 28th o in the google search and its still a picture of them like damn

[01:13] TG: even googles impressed

[01:14] CK: oh, Dave...

[01:15] TG: yes dear brother of mine

[01:17] CK: you and irony should get married.

[01:17] TG: nah we're takin it slow

[01:17] TG: gettin to know each other first

[01:18] CK: i have trouble understanding you sometimes. you are the coolest, though!

[01:18] TG: you dont gotta understand man you just gotta roll with it

[01:19] TG: ride that wave of ironic coolness

[01:19] TG: shred some sick waves of linguistic splendor

[01:20] CK: i'll try, bro.

[01:20] CK: i'll try like miley cyrus tries to be famous.

[01:21] TG: we striders dont try bro thasts the secret

[01:21] TG: you gotta just let your inner miley ride that wrecking ball through a field of ironic sheek]

[01:21] TG: like when you turn up a sick beat and the raps flow from your inner well of cool

[01:25] CK: i don't think i have an inner well, bro. i think you and Bro inherited all of the coolness.

[01:25] TG: youve got it in you

[01:26] TG: just havent found your niche yet

[01:26] CK: no i don't i'm not able to be ironic like you two.

[01:27] TG: theres tons of types of irony bro

[01:27] TG: sarcasm

[01:27] TG: ironic chic fashion

[01:27] TG: smuppets and comics

[01:28] TG: have you tried making outfits out of things in the five dollar walmart bin

[01:28] TG: any shirt with a cat is a guaranteed win

[01:28] CK: i do find smuppets cute and like sarcasm. cats are cute too.

[01:29] TG: i have no idea how you think those plush atrocities are cute

[01:30] TG: sarcasm is a good one though

[01:31] CK: what? they are so derpy and soft!

[01:32] TG: id stay away from those things

[01:32] TG: god knows what bro does with them

[01:32] TG: in fact im pretty sure even god averts his eyes

[01:32] TG: with a booming "oh thats nasty"

[01:36] CK: ew. Dave. no. just no.

[01:36] TG: youve seen the websites

[01:36] TG: thousands of dollars a month appear somehow

[01:37] CK: yeah... i seen the sites. and?

[01:38] TG: okay youve seen them but have you really SEEN them man

[01:38] TG: like have you delved headfirst into the horros that await

[01:38] TG: have you been wristdeep in smuppet ass

[01:38] CK: no? i don't think so?

[01:39] TG: dont.

[01:39] CK: why? is this about the birds and the bees talk bro said he was going to give us that one time and never did?

[01:40] TG: yes and this is why im mildly concerned every time you touch some sort of internet wielding device

[01:41] CK: what do you mean?

[01:41] TG: theres some fucked up shit out in the world

[01:41] TG: i should know i put half of it there

[01:41] TG: but youre too innocent for that biz

[01:42] CK: huh?

[01:42] TG: dont worry about it bro

[01:42] TG: just focus on havin a good time

[01:44] CK: so i should stop cuddling the smuppet i bought with me?

[01:44] TG: its probably too late to stop

[01:45] TG: but for future reference

[01:45] TG: maybe dont get too handsy with the smuppets.

[01:46] CK: awwwwww....

[01:46] TG: aight maybe the one you already have is ok

[01:46] TG: wash it at some point

[01:46] TG: rigorously

[01:46] TG: but leave the other ones be

[01:46] CK: i should?

[01:47] TG: might not be too shabby of an idea

[01:47] TG: just to be safe

[01:48] CK: ok. i trust you Dave.

[01:49] TG: im glad you do bud

[01:49] TG: i always got your back

[01:49] TG: like some kind of ironic shades donning backpack

[01:49] TG: just dont shove pencils anywhere im not down for that kinda shit

[01:50] CK: what? what do you mean shove them where?

[01:50] TG: dont worry lil bro

[01:50] TG: youre precious

[01:51] CK: i'm not much shorter than you, dave. no i'm not! i'm precocious!

[01:52] TG: yeab but you are shorter

[01:52] TG: and therefore by the laws of this land the little sdorable brother

[01:53] CK: grrrr...

[01:53] TG: no need for strifin bout it

[01:55] CK: i have to defend my homor like a virgin princess!

[01:56] TG: oh here we go

[01:56] TG: the princess thing

[01:56] CK: what?

[01:56] TG: man whys she specifically a virgin

[01:56] TG: are you sayin princesses that get busy arent worth protectin

[01:57] CK: because virginity is considered desireable with royalty.

[01:57] TG: youre falling victim to the flaws inherent in the system

[01:57] TG: the nobility is antiquated

[01:57] CK: in japan people pay thousands just to be able to take the virginity of a Geisha

[01:58] TG: a revolution is required

[01:58] TG: why do you know that

[01:58] TG: stay off of the internet

[01:58] CK: uh.....

[01:58] CK: Adrian showed me

[01:59] CK: hehe...... don't be mad. i'm sorry.

[01:59] TG: im not mad im concerned for your virgin eyes

[01:59] TG: whos defending their honor

[02:00] CK: you are. brave knight!

[02:00] TG: im no knight

[02:00] TG: aint no chivalry here

[02:00] TG: just some sweet memes and hot beats

[02:00] TG: i dont have time for damsels

[02:01] CK: but knights are the coolest, like you.\

[02:02] TG: oh you

[02:02] TG: do go on

[02:02] CK: you are so cool Kelvin bowed down in defeat!

[02:03] TG: you callin me an absolute zero

[02:03] TG: cuz that somds like some prime roast

[02:03] TG: that plus 273 C aint no joke

[02:04] CK: no! I'm saying you are cooler than absolute zero. see i suck at irony!

[02:04] TG: its all about timing

[02:05] TG: a well placed quip is more powerful than the best written jokes

[02:05] CK: my timing was off?

[02:06] TG: not completely but theres probably a beter time to have used a kelvin joke

[02:06] CK: like when?

[02:06] TG: okay so scenario

[02:06] TG: i ask what the temperature is in that drafty old house youre staying in

[02:07] TG: you say "it feels like twelve degrees :("

[02:07] CK: ok?

[02:07] TG: i could say something like if you mean in kelvin thats almost as cool as me

[02:09] CK: *Stars in eyes* sooooo cooooool. you are the best at irony!

[02:09] TG: just takes practice

[02:09] TG: youll get there

[02:10] CK: you are so cool Butterscotch lifts his smuppet nose in your honor!

[02:10] TG: you named that thing butterscotch

[02:11] TG: please tell me its not scented

[02:11] CK: yeah. he's butterscotch color and scented. i love it!

[02:11] CK: why?

[02:12] TG: i swear if i find an apple scented smuppet on my pillow im going to hurl chunks

[02:12] CK: why?

[02:12] TG: itd spoil aj for me

[02:13] TG: knowing someone

[02:13] TG: somewhere

[02:13] TG: is doing unspeakable things with something that smells like the nectar of the gods

[02:13] TG: blasphemy

[02:13] CK: Cara said he tasted like it too when i threw him at her. is that weird?

[02:14] TG: well

[02:14] TG: there goes my lunch

[02:14] CK: what?

[02:15] TG: lets move on before i lose my shit

[02:15] CK: why? why would you lose your shit?

[02:15] CK: oh, it does taste like butterscotch. yum.

[02:16] TG: PUT IT DOWN

[02:16] TG: dont

[02:16] TG: fucking

[02:16] CK: only on the nose, though.

[02:16] TG: taste that thing

[02:16] TG: aster please

[02:16] CK: ?

[02:17] TG: please tell me you got this smuppet seconds after bro finished making it

[02:17] TG: he was in a good mood and made you a special one

[02:17] TG: right

[02:17] TG: no testing or anything

[02:17] CK: why?

[02:18] TG: just please tell me thats what happened

[02:19] CK: no. it was one i grabbed before i left. i asked bro if i could have it.

[02:20] CK: he just nodded.

[02:20] CK: i think he did anyway

[02:20] TG: please

[02:20] TG: never

[02:20] TG: touch a smuppet

[02:20] TG: ever again

[02:20] TG: throw the one youre holding away

[02:22] CK: but he's the kind of soft you get from being well loved! i think he used to be Bro's favorite! i love it so much.

[02:22] TG: aster you cant hear yourself can you holy fucking

[02:23] TG: ask cara if she has bleach.

[02:23] CK: what? why! it will turn him white! i like the yellow color!

[02:24] TG: i will personally re-dye the damn thing for you just

[02:24] TG: bleach it

[02:24] TG: it needs its sins bleached away aster please

[02:24] CK: Dave are you okay? you're acting funny.

[02:25] CK: should i ask bro to check on you?

[02:25] TG: nO

[02:25] TG: just

[02:25] TG: bleach the damn thing

[02:25] TG: im fine

[02:25] TG: cool as always

[02:26] CK: are you sure. I can pester bro right now.

[02:26] TG: nah dont bother him

[02:26] TG: its all good

[02:27] CK: if i bleach him he wont smell and taste good anymore. i'm sucking on his nose right now. it's yummy.

[02:28] TG: aster

[02:28] CK: what?

[02:28] TG: do you want me to flip a shit

[02:28] TG: do you want your big brother

[02:28] TG: to lose his cool

[02:28] CK: noooooooooooo!

[02:29] TG: do you want to se me get the gold in the most acrobatic display of a fucking perfect pirouette ever seen by the human eye

[02:29] CK: what?

[02:29] TG: bleach

[02:29] TG: the goddam

[02:29] TG: smuppet

[02:30] CK: but, it's 2:30 is in the morning!

[02:30] TG: exactly time is of the essence

[02:31] CK: the others will get mad if i wkae them. they drank alot last night.

[02:31] CK: wake. sorry.

[02:31] TG: you didnt drink anything?

[02:32] CK: Adrian gave me some funny tasting grape juice. i didn't like it.

[02:32] TG: that was probably wine

[02:32] TG: i never liked adrian that much

[02:33] CK: he said it wasn't

[02:33] CK: why?

[02:33] TG: seems like a bad influence on you

[02:33] TG: call it a gut feeling

[02:35] CK: so i shouldn't take the pills he tries to give me? i don't think they help my headaches.

[02:36] TG: i want you to make me a promise you will never accept anything he gives you to eat or drink

[02:37] CK: why?

[02:38] TG: if hes giving you alcohol and pills hes not a good guy

[02:38] TG: im about thirty seconds from kicking his ass

[02:38] TG: that kid is gunna have to warn us all about next tuesday when i smack him there

[02:39] CK: he just has some issues. he protects me in our special scool from bullies.

[02:39] TG: just dont accept anything from hin anymore

[02:39] CK: he beat up kevin the otherday for trying to throw me down a flight of stairs.

[02:40] TG: kevin did what

[02:40] CK: ok... so no more special brownies?

[02:40] TG: why didnt you tell me

[02:40] TG: no more special brownies.

[02:40] TG: ever

[02:41] CK: i didn't want you to get mad at me for not being able to fight back. he had his friends with him. i don't like fighting.

[02:41] TG: i know you dont but you gotta protect yourself

[02:42] TG: those kids gotta understand you arent going to let them be assholes to you

[02:42] CK: i also don't like giving Kevin my lunch mony... or my lunch.

[02:42] CK: but violence isn't the answer!

[02:46] TG: bro im never going to be mad at ya for not wanting to fight people

[02:46] TG: believe me i understand

[02:47] TG: im no hero

[02:47] TG: but violence is all these kids understand

[02:47] TG: if you dont speak to them in a language they get they wont ever get the picture

[02:47] CK: you are a hero to me, dave.

[02:47] TG: and theyll continue making me decide that they need a strider beatdown for pickin on my bro

[02:48] TG: thats the only hero ill ever need to be

[02:50] TG: you sdhould get some shuteye lil bro

[02:50] TG: gotta keep up that fabulous strider look with some beauty sleep

[02:50] TG: ((thatd be so rad))

[02:50] CK: Okay! night Dave. Love you.

[02:51] TG: night aster. love you too

[02:51] TG: and keep that smuppet out of your mouth

[02:51] TG: for my sanity's sake

[02:51] CK: awwwww

[02:51] CK: ok

Aster put his PDA away and snuggled with his smuppet and fell asleep with a smile on his face. Dave was fun to mess with.


	2. Aster to Dave 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aster learns about sex through P0rn! Also Dave has it out with Aster's friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adrian may come off as creepy with Aster, but it really isn't. Adrian sees Aster as a younger brother and is trying to look out for him... in his own weird way.

Aster was at Adrian's house, well, it was actually Cara's house. He had asked Adrian a simple innocent question. The one all parents fear hearing from children.

"Adri? Where do babies come from?"

 

That lead to Adrian sitting down with the innocent 12 year old in front of the computer to watch porn.

 

Too bad it only lead to more questions. Aster decided to ask Dave, since Arian was too focused on the video's.

 

 

\-- cyberKnight [CK] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:47 --

[04:47] CK: Dave?

[04:47] CK: You there?

[04:47] TG: yeah bro

[04:47] TG: whats up

[04:48] CK: I was on he internet...

[04:48] TG: shit man what is the one thing i told you that i dont like you doin

[04:48] CK: I'm sorry.

[04:49] CK: I have a question, though

[04:49] TG: i really hope that question is about to be how do i open the internet icon

[04:49] TG: shoot

[04:50] CK: no, silly. Why is there a guy shoving his dic in another guys ass?

[04:50] TG: WOAH

[04:50] TG: what the FUCK were you watching

[04:50] TG: aster who showed you this

[04:50] CK: Extremetube.

[04:51] CK: Adrian showed me. he said that I need to be educated on matters of the flesh.

[04:51] CK: I now know how to tie new knots!

[04:52] TG: adrian needs to stick his head up his ass before i get over there and do it for him

[04:52] TG: he does realize you arent 20 right

[04:52] CK: Iis that even physically possible?

[04:52] CK: he does.

[04:52] CK: he says i would make a great shotacon.

[04:53] TG: block him

[04:53] TG: never speak to him again

[04:53] CK: but, I'm at his house right now.

[04:53] TG: if he tries to dress you up you tell me immediately and hes soon going to find himself away for a long time in prison

[04:54] TG: where are you

[04:54] TG: im going to come get you

[04:55] CK: Cara is the one who likes to put me in dresses. She has me in a lolita gothic one right now! it's pretty. she had to leave, though.

[04:55] CK: she says i look cute in them, like a doll.

[04:55] TG: im all for you wearing dresses for cara but lets not let adrian get involved with that biz alright

[04:55] TG: the dude is just creepy.

[04:56] CK: he is my friend. if he wasn't here Kevin

[04:56] CK: nevermind

[04:56] TG: i can take care of kevin for you if hes still bothering you at school

[04:57] CK: i don't want you to get involved! I can handle it!

[04:57] CK: Kevin just needs a friend!

[04:57] TG: one glimpse of dstride in all his shades donning katana wielding glory and he wont bother you anymore

[04:57] TG: the dude needs an asswhoopin

[04:57] TG: bullying my baby bro

[04:58] CK: No! No ass kicking!No violence, Please!

[04:58] TG: alright

[04:58] TG: just because you dont like it

[04:58] TG: but i swear im at wits end with that kid

[04:59] CK: I can take the beatings, bro. i think i have almost gotten through to him!

[05:00] CK: I've been trying for two year. if i have to beaten up for two more, i will!

[05:00] TG: this kid doesnt deserve to look at you let alone have you trying to befriend him

[05:00] TG: man

[05:00] TG: youre too good for this

[05:01] CK: i only got one cracked rib from him this week! he's getting better!

[05:01] CK: oops

[05:01] CK: forget I said that

[05:01] TG: he what

[05:02] TG: why

[05:02] TG: didnt you tell me this when it happened

[05:02] TG: im kicking this kids ass

[05:02] TG: thats the last straw

[05:02] CK: no! this is why i don't tell you these things!

[05:03] TG: this kid isnt going to undestand you the way i do bro

[05:03] TG: hes gotta learn he cant pick on you

[05:03] TG: i get you dont want to fight him

[05:03] TG: but i can stand here and let you get beaten up

[05:03] CK: you gotta!

[05:04] CK: it's not his fault he's like the way he is!

[05:04] TG: i dont care whos fault it is hes raggin on my bro

[05:04] TG: that shit dont fly

[05:05] CK: did you know that there are machines that have penisis on them and they do all of the work for you? I just saw that on the video i just finished watching! so cool!

[05:06] TG: can you get off of those porn sites please you shouldnt be watching this shit

[05:06] TG: you shouldnt be having your eyes tainted this early in life

[05:07] TG: at least wait until you walk in on bro doing a film shoot

[05:07] TG: like i did

[05:07] CK: but Adrian is showing me his account on plushrumps! cute smuppets!

[05:08] TG: the fact that twat has an account on plushrumps doesnt surprise me in the slightest

[05:08] TG: please dont order anything

[05:08] CK: he wants to show me a video.

[05:09] TG: do not watch that video

[05:09] TG: aster

[05:09] TG: do not

[05:09] TG: watch

[05:09] TG: that video

[05:09] TG: if you have ever cared about me you wont do it

[05:09] TG: aster please

[05:09] TG: fucking shit

[05:09] CK: he already pressed play. He also has me on his lap in the computer chair.

[05:10] TG: TELL THAT PERV IM GOING TO DECAPITATE HIM

[05:10] TG: get off his lap

[05:10] TG: im going over there

[05:11] CK: but i'm comfy. hey, i see bro on screen!

[05:12] TG: aster

[05:12] TG: im sorry for what youre about to see

[05:12] CK: hey he has butterscotch! he looks so clean in this video!

[05:13] TG: oh my god

[05:14] CK: I know, he's all stained now. I still havent bleached him yet. He's losing his yummy flavoring, though.

[05:15] TG: please stop tasting that piece of filth

[05:15] CK: but he's yummy! his nose fits perfectly in my mouth too!

[05:16] TG: i get it this is actually bro

[05:16] TG: haha

[05:16] TG: good prank

[05:16] TG: let it go

[05:16] TG: stop giving me images of aster i dont need

[05:16] TG: i dont need nightmares of this shit man

[05:16] TG: you sicko

[05:17] CK: But, it is me, Dave

[05:17] TG: fuck fuck fuck fuck

[05:17] TG: aster

[05:18] TG: please just dont watch the video

[05:18] CK: Why is bro getting naked?

[05:19] CK: oh..

[05:19] TG: i uh

[05:19] TG: guess you watched it.

[05:19] CK: oh................................. my

[05:20] CK: i.......

[05:20] TG: are you ok bro

[05:20] CK: i....

[05:20] TG: do you need me to come over there

[05:20] CK: i need bleach......

[05:20] TG: yeah now you see

[05:21] CK: adrian is giving me hugs and hisses.

[05:21] TG: im sorry you had to see that

[05:21] CK: kisses

[05:21] TG: are you ok with him doing that

[05:21] TG: or am i breaking his nose

[05:22] CK: i think i need mouthwash

[05:22] CK: i don't feel good.

[05:23] TG: tell adrian to get you some

[05:23] TG: fuck he shouldnt have shown you that

[05:23] TG: you re far too young

[05:23] TG: i dont know what kind shit adrian does in his own time but he needs to not involve you in this sort of douchebaggery

[05:24] CK: This is Arian. Aster is throwing up right now. I had no idea that was your brother in the video.

[05:24] TG: why the fuck are you showing him this shit man

[05:24] TG: what kind of deranged maniac shows this to a little kid

[05:25] TG: do you get your kicks from ruining the innocence of little boys

[05:25] TG: if so then i have a few kicks for you myself

[05:25] CK: He said he never was told about the 'Birds and the Bees' so I showed him the way I was taught.

[05:25] TG: right up your fucking ass

[05:25] TG: thats not your place

[05:26] CK: He asked me, knowing you wouldn't tell him. Cara and Adam won't either. I'm no maniac, or pedo, if that is what you are thinking.

[05:27] TG: seems to me that if three perfectly sane people wont show porn to a twelve year old kid that makes you the maniac of the group

[05:27] TG: wait

[05:27] TG: he asked you

[05:27] CK: They fear you and your brother, that's why they wont

[05:28] CK: He asked you several times before, he told me. You wouldn't tell him. So i did.

[05:28] TG: man its not right to do that to him

[05:28] TG: you made the kid puke for gods sake

[05:28] TG: he didnt need to know

[05:29] TG: oh well excuse me for trying to let him keep his innocence for a bit

[05:29] TG: im such a terrible guy

[05:29] TG: lock me up folks ive broken the good brother code

[05:29] TG: rule 69: make sure your bro sees what people actually do with smuppets

[05:30] CK: I understand, but he is nearly 13.

[05:30] TG: is he ok

[05:30] TG: check on him

[05:31] CK: He's fine now. I told him where the bleach was. He has 'Butterscotch' soaking in it now.

[05:31] CK: I'm having him take some Pepto.

[05:32] TG: alright

[05:32] TG: help him with the bleach

[05:33] CK: Why?

[05:33] TG: hes clumsy sometimes and he doesnt need that shit on him

[05:33] TG: hes feeling shitty as it is

[05:34] CK: He did just fine doing it himself. It's him and the concrete stairs I worry about.

[05:34] CK: His balance is shit, quite frankly.

[05:34] TG: yeah well anybody couldve warned you about stairs bro

[05:34] TG: anybody can tell you dog

[05:35] CK: SB&HJ?

[05:35] TG: well at least you keep up with some decent literature instead of just entirely being addicted to smuppet ass

[05:35] TG: and taking the innocence of children

[05:36] TG: like an anti fucking santa clause aint ya

[05:36] CK: Aster is always reading it. I find it stupid.

[05:36] TG: did you hear that

[05:37] TG: the sound of me asking for your opinion

[05:37] TG: neither did i

[05:38] CK: Really? I couldn't hear over the noise of me teaching Aster things You and your 'Bro' Should have.

[05:39] TG: man dont fuckin rag on my family

[05:39] TG: we might be shitty

[05:39] TG: but we get by fine

[05:39] TG: youre not asters dad

[05:39] TG: get over it

[05:39] CK: Shitty is not the word I would use.

[05:41] TG: in your infinite generosity and wisdom please enlighten me as to your choice adjective for the striders

[05:41] TG: only the coicest of adjectives

[05:41] TG: i want it medium well with a side of garlic mashed potatoes

[05:41] CK: He is terrified at night. Aster hates to go to sleep. He has horrible nightmares. That's why he comes over so often! He comes over to take naps away from "Lil' Cal" he's terrified of it.

[05:41] TG: and make sure its your finest imported rhetoric

[05:42] TG: lil cal is a harmless puppet

[05:42] CK: I have the perfect one. NIGHTMARE.

[05:42] TG: you think hes the only one who gets nightmares

[05:42] TG: it happens

[05:42] TG: its not the puppets fault

[05:42] TG: it just happens

[05:43] CK: Aster dosen't think so.No one should be that scared of a 'harmless' puppet.

[05:44] TG: are you suggesting lil cal has dream powers

[05:44] TG: get off whatever drug youre on

[05:44] TG: its not doing you any favors

[05:44] CK: /ASTER/ is the one telling me these things!

[05:45] TG: hes just afraid of the c man

[05:45] CK: Did you know he carries a Rosary with him nowadays?

[05:45] TG: what

[05:45] TG: he does?

[05:46] CK: Yes. He is that scared of that puppet.

[05:46] TG: aight lemme just schedule a meeting with the pope for an exorcism

[05:47] TG: yeah mr pope its very important

[05:47] TG: no no wait dont hang up

[05:47] TG: its about the pupet

[05:47] TG: you hear the dialtone in this scenario

[05:48] CK: Fine, be that way. Ignore the fears of your braindamaged brother!

[05:49] TG: put my brother back on.

[05:49] CK: Fine!

\-- cyberKnight [CK] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:52 --

[05:52] CK: Why is Adrian driving off mad?

[05:52] TG: doesnt matter

[05:53] TG: are you alright?

[05:53] CK: ...no.

[05:53] TG: im sorry

[05:53] TG: i shouldnt have let it come to this

[05:53] TG: i just

[05:53] CK: why?

[05:54] CK: why is bro doing that?

[05:54] TG: i didnt want you to have to know about any of that

[05:54] TG: i dont know why he does it

[05:54] TG: either because he enjoys it

[05:54] TG: or he knows itll sell

[05:55] CK: i know i may not be smart like you, but i can try and understand things. you should just tell me these things, Dave. you are my twin. i love you no matter what!

[05:55] TG: and i love you too bro. thats why i was trying to spare you from this shit

[05:56] TG: and you are smart. dont put yourself down

[05:56] CK: no i'm not.

[05:56] CK: i'm broken in the head.

[05:57] TG: youre far from broken

[05:57] TG: youre different, sure

[05:57] TG: but thats what makes you unique

[05:57] TG: it makes you you

[05:57] TG: and no matter what youre my bro

[05:57] CK: you and me against the world?

[05:57] TG: you could have thirteen heads and ten arms

[05:58] TG: you and me against the world.

[05:58] TG: it aint gunna know what hit it

[05:58] TG: oh shit who are these two badass dudes

[05:58] TG: fuck man thats the strider twins

[05:58] TG: theyre the coolest on planet fucking earth

[05:58] CK: and butterscotch, once he's clean.

[05:59] TG: i guess i can tolerate one smuppet

[05:59] TG: since it makes you happy

[05:59] CK: yes!

[05:59] TG: just make sure hes really clean

[05:59] TG: ill help you redye him when you get home later

[06:00] CK: nah, i think i'll keep him white.

[06:00] CK: i'll get two red buttons and then he can be a real strider!

[06:00] TG: man its some sweet irony too

[06:01] TG: the color of innocence

[06:01] TG: for a smuppet

[06:01] TG: he really is a real strider

[06:02] CK: ugh... don't remind me... about....

[06:02] TG: sorry

[06:02] TG: i shouldnt bring that up to ya

[06:02] TG: but at least you see why i wanted to spare you

[06:02] CK: ... is Lil' cal home?

[06:02] TG: lemme check.

[06:03] TG: i dont see the c man anywhere

[06:03] TG: bros on the couch

[06:03] TG: he says hello

[06:03] CK: I thought i saw him in the tree just now.

[06:04] TG: it was probably just your imagination

[06:04] CK: tell bro I am coming home now. it's too lonely here right now.

[06:04] TG: youve been through somethin traumatic today

[06:04] TG: aight. im glad youre comin home

[06:04] TG: striders gotta stick together

[06:04] CK: ... did you tell bro about... ya know... ugh,,,

[06:05] TG: no i didnt mention it

[06:05] CK: good.

[06:05] CK: why?

[06:05] TG: i never told him what i saw either. we can keep it between us

[06:05] CK: ok. like a twin secret.

[06:05] TG: exactly

[06:06] TG: itll go in our twin bond

[06:06] TG: in a nice little box

[06:06] CK: i gotta find a bucket.

[06:06] TG: you alright?

[06:06] CK: to put 'scotch and the bleach in so he can come home too.

[06:07] CK: i need a lid

[06:07] TG: his own personal caustic jacuzzi

[06:07] TG: scotch livin the good life

Aster stopped Pestering his twin with a smile. He hefted the small bucket and started off towards home. He wondered what the future would bring.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and Kudo's.
> 
> Looking for people to work with me on this project!


	3. Aster to Jade 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aster's first contact with Jade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to radioactiveSarcasm for editing this! and MV on pesterchum for doing this with me. they MV is Jade.

\- cyberKnight [CK] began pestering gardenGnostic [GG] –-

CK: hello

GG: hi!

CK: i'm Dave's bro, Aster. are you miss Jade?

GG: yep! that would be me! its nice to meet you! :)

CK: nice to meet you, too! Dave talks about you all the time! so, i decided to finally meet you.

GG: oh, ive heard about you from dave, too!

CK: you have?

GG: yep! :)

CK: what did he say?

GG: he said that you had some brain damage

GG: i feel sorry for you! :(

CK: don't. it's not as bad as it sounds. i just have some trouble understanding thing, but Dave helps out a lot!

CK: dave said so many nice things about you! he said that you were very nice, sweet, kind, energetic, and cute.

GG: hehe! thanks!

GG: so, how are you doing?

CK: i'm doing ok. i'm hiding from Lil Cal right now though.

GG: oh, why are you hiding from cal?

CK: well, don't tell dave, but that puppet creeps me out. it's like he isn't a puppet.

GG: dave did mention that cal seemed odd before!

CK: but he loves that thing, even if he thinks it's weird.

GG: dave can be quite strange at times, but hes still nice! even in his ironic and weird ways! :D

CK: yeah… i don't get his irony but i still think he's the coolest!

GG: yup!

CK: so, Dave told me you can see the future?

GG: well… in a way!

CK: how?

GG: i just look into skaias and they tell me a lot of things about the future! but they do limit me!

CK: skaia?

GG: yeah!

CK: what's that?

GG: oh, skaia is just a planet, i guess you can call it!

CK: cool!

CK: ya know

CK: i had a dream about Dave and Bro last night…

GG: oh! what was it like?

CK: well, Dave and i were on the roof and there was a giant meteor heading our way, so bro cuts it in half!

GG: woah! That mustve been cool!

CK: the coolest!

CK: but, what are the chances of that ever happening in real life?

GG: hmm…

GG: hopefully never, but you cant predict the future!

CK: yeah… i hope it never happens.

CK: so Dave told me you had a doggy!

GG: oh yeah!

GG: i have a dog names Becquerel!

CK: that's such a beautiful name!

GG: thanks! :D

GG: bec is a bit different than a normal dog, though

CK: really?!

GG: yeah!

CK: how?

GG: bec can so something that's basically like teleporting! i dont know how o explain it though…

CK: i've always wanted a dong, but Dave and Bro said no,

GG: aww :(

GG: maybe cal would scare the dog away!

CK: probably… Dave said that a dog would eat the smuppets

GG: that would be weird!

CK: yeah!

CK: and sad…

GG: i havent seen one of those smuppets before!

CK: they're so cute and derpy!

CK: do you want me to send you a pic?

GG: sure!

GG: wow, they do look pretty derpy! and weird, too.

CK: this one's mine. i named him Butterscotch, because of his color and scent!

GG: they have scents? O.o

CK: yeah!

CK: at least the new ones do

GG: weird!

GG: i wonder how ther get the scents in!

CK: i don't know how Bro does it

CK: or why he does it

GG: maybe if you ask him, hed tell you!

CK: …maybe

CK: i think Dave is home, now. gotta go. bye miss Jade!

GG: see ya!

\- cyberKnight [CK] ceased pestering gardenGnostic [GG] -

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give feedback on what you guys wish to see!

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave some feedback and kudo's


End file.
